


The Chat

by Coconut_Cat_Is_Real



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Chatting & Messaging, Forgive Me, I'm Sorry, Intentionally Bad Spelling & Grammar, Memes, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-05 17:15:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10313174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coconut_Cat_Is_Real/pseuds/Coconut_Cat_Is_Real
Summary: This thing is one big shitpostMemethyst messages her friends





	1. Peri-do

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry

_**[memethyst added users peridon't, Lapissed, Pearl, Beefy and Garnet to the chatroom]** _

**memethyst:** wassup y'all

 **Beefy:** what the fuck runt

 **Beefy:** why is this chat named ''ravioli ravioli send me memeioli''

 **peridon't:** and since when does this conversation even exist??

 **memethyst:** like one minute 

 **memethyst:** but i already feel its gonna be g8

 **Pearl:** Why did you even invite me here? 

 **memethyst:** because i can p

 **memethyst:** lets spam this chat w/ memes nudes and puns

 **Lapissed:** nudes?

 **memethyst:** if u want i can send some mine

 **Beefy:** not at all 

 **Pearl:** Please, don't do it.

 **peridon't:** peri-do

 **Garnet:** There is no need to, Amethyst

 **Lapissed:** I'd rather like is somone else did it

 **memethyst:** haha k peri wait

 **memethyst:** here u go pdot

 **memethyst:** you have it on our priv 

 **Pearl:** But why


	2. the conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> even bigger shitpost

**peridon't:** Conclusion

 **peridon't:** Amethyst is, in fact, Ame-thicc

 **peridon't:** Good shit

 **Lapissed:** wtf peridot

 **Lapissed:** what happened to the young, cheerful, innocent, naive and annoying gremlin I had to spend childhood with

 **peridon't:** but you do realize that half of these adjectives never applied to me

 **Beefy:** the gremlin part was true tho

 **memethyst:** i love the discourse

 **Lapissed:** peridot is the real drama queen

 **peridon't:** Queer Queen™

 **Garnet:** The gay never stops

 **Beefy:** you all are fucking gay 

 **Beefy:** gay rocks

 **peridon't:** wow Jasper

 **peridon't:** ur almost as fast as internet explorer

**_[memethyst changed Beefy's nickname to jocksper]_ **

**jocksper:** fucking runt

 **peridon't:** suits you tho

 **jocksper:** fuck you

**_[jocksper changed peridon't's nickname to beep beep go fuck yourself with a cactus]_ **

**beep beep go fuck yourself with a cactus:** bitch

 **beep beep go fuck yourself with a cactus:** change it to something related to me

 **jocksper:** it is related to you

_**[memethyst changed beep beep go fuck yourself with a cactus's nickname to lets kashoot the school]** _

**memethyst:** since ur white i believe it suits u peri

_**[jocksper changed memethyst's nickname to just a joke]** _

**just a joke:** at least people like jokes

 **lets kashoot the school:** savage

 **Lapissed:** rip jasper you won't be missed haha

 **jocksper:** ur a fucking pun not a joke

 **Pearl:** Now you are being hypocrite. You gave her the name yourself.

 **Lapissed:** ka-chow

 **Garnet:** This reminds me, Jasper, are you still up for tomorow boxing match?

 **jocksper:** yes

 **jocksper:** finna kick ur ass

 **Garnet:** Amethyst, don't

_**[just a joke changed Garnet's nickname to gar-NUT]** _

**just a joke:** how did you even know

 **gar-NUT:** Future Vision.

 

 


	3. not a fucking hamilton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wake me up inside

**gar-NUT:** I won.

 **jocksper:** you fucking cheated

 **just a joke:** lol haha what did u do g?

 **jocksper:** she started fucking singing

 **jocksper:**  second part of the match and all of sudden she started to sing

 **jocksper:** its not a fucking disney

 **jocksper:** and not a fucking hamilton

 **Pearl:** Woah, Jasper, how come You know about Hamilton?

 **jocksper:** r u kidding

 **jocksper:** half of tumblr was screaming abt it

 **jocksper:** back to the fight

 **jocksper:** I want a rematch

 **just a joke:** haha i have to come to see it

 **just a joke:** jasper gettin her ass beaten by g-squad

 **just a joke:** you can't see it everyday

 **lets kashoot the school:** I heard the word Hamilton

 **Pearl:** It was only briefly mentioned.

 **lets kashoot the school:** shame

 **lets kashoot the school:**  amethyst send nudes

 **Lapissed:** it's time to stop peridot

 **lets kashoot the school:** no

 **just a joke:** so g can i come to the next fight

_**[lets kashoot the school changed just a joke's nickname to AMETHYST SEND NUDES]** _

**AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** kk peri wait

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** where is jasper

 **Lapissed:** Don't know, don't care

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** jasper

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** jasper

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** jasper

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** jasper

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** jasper

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** where r u jasper

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** r u alive

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** pls dont be dead 

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** i HAVE to see ur ass getting kicked

 **Pearl:** If Amethyst uses capital letters, then she sure is passionate about something.

 **jocksper:** jesus fucking christ i went to the kitchen

 **jocksper:** btw ur dead runt

_**[lets kashoot the school changed jocksper's nickname to DEMOLISHER]** _

**DEMOLISHER:** what is that supposed to mean

 **DEMOLISHER:** is it from this dumb game about zombies you play nerd

 **lets kashoot the school:** yes how did you know

_**[Lapissed changed lets kashoot the school's nickname to Toad on the road]** _

**Pearl:** Everyday I loose the faith in humanity a little more.

 **Toad on the road:** stop being so salty omg

 **AMETHSYT SEND NUDES:** why the fuck u salty why u always salty mmm oh my god stop being salty

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** that was also to u jasp

 **DEMOLISHER:** that's it, youre fucking dead kiddo

_**[DEMOLISHER** _ _**added users Skin and Bones, Carnelying and Stripes to the chatroom]** _

**Skin and Bones:** water u want Meaty

 **Carnelying:** I was kinda busy y'know

 **DEMOLISHER:** Just fucking roast Amethyst

 **Skin and Bones:** Which one

 **Skin and Bones:** There's like ten of them

 **Carnelying:** Probably the one that is in this chatroom

_**[AMETHYST SEND NUDES added users Chip, Sharky and Holly Blue Agate to the chatroom]** _

_**[Stripes has left the chatroom]** _

**AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** fuck go back

 **Holly Blue Agate:** I only have one question.

 **Skin and Bones:** Oh yes our best friend Holly is here

 **Carnelying:** I'm so happy

 **Holly Blue Agate:** What in the name of God

 **Chip:** Nice name memethyst ;)

 **Sharky:** Holly im so glad u decided to join us today

 **Holly Blue Agate:** And I'm not

 **Chip:** You can always leave :/

 **DEMOLISHER:** F U C K I N G  R O A S T  A M E T H Y S T

 **Holly Blue Agate:** Why I am here, I hate all of you, and all of you hate me

 **Carnelying:**  Y O U  C A N  L E A V E

_**[Skin and Bones changed Holly Blue Agate's nickname to Unholly Bitch Agate]** _

**Pearl:** Harsh

_**[Unholly Bitch Agate has left the chatroom]** _


	4. waddle on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rip club penguin

**L** **apissed:** lmao rip club penguin

 **Toad on the road:** shut the fuck up lapiss

 **Toad on the road:** i loved this game

 **Toad on the road:** it was my childhood

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** lol peri its just a game

 **Toad on the road:** NO

 **Toad on the road:** my penguin was 3719 days old

 **Skin and Bones:** But that's 10 years

 **Toad on the road:** I know

 **Toad on the road:** I have depression now

 **Lapissed:** same

 **Toad on the road:** no you are just an attention whore

 **DEMOLISHER:** OMG

 **DEMOLISHER:** no no no

 **DEMOLISHER:** no thats not on the menu

 **Toad on the road:** put it on the menu

 **AMETHYST SEND NUDES:** wait what r u on about

_**[DEMOLISHER changed Toad on the road's nickname to Tyrone]** _

**Tyrone:** bitch throw one more snowball at me

_**[AMETHYST SEND NUDES changed their nickname to peri do u want nudes]** _

**Tyrone:** what the fuck purple

 **peri do u want nudes:** i dont know if i should be offended

 **DEMOLISHER:** Magic mirror, will I ever find love?

**Lapissed:** ASK AGAIN LATER

**DEMOLISHER:** Well fuck you then

 **Pearl:** Can someone please explain, why are they typing like that?

 **Lapissed:** Honestly Pearl how do you not know about Club Penguin and the fact that Disney has closed it I'm dissapointed in you

 **gar-NUT:** Waddle on.

 **Tyrone:** NO HOW DARE YOU YOU FILTHY WAR MACHINE I HATE YOU

_**[Tyrone changed peri do u want nudes's nickname to ametits]** _

**ametits:** suits me

_**[Tyrone changed DEMOLISHER's nickname to jaspussy]** _

**Pearl:** Peridot, that's not very appropriate.

 **Carnelying:** Oh man, Peridot, I had Club Penguin account too

 **Tyrone:** fucking disney

 **Lapissed:** It has pretty cool movies tho

 **Lapissed:** I really liked Moana

 **ametits:** i bet she was moana'ing when she was alone with maui

 **Skin and Bones:** I JUST CHOKED ON MY DRINK

 **Skin and Bones:** WHAT THE FUCK AMETHYST

 **Lapissed:** Who is your fav character?

 **Tyrone:** you mean in moana or generally

 **Tyrone:** because if generally then its shrek

 **Lapissed:** in moana

 **Tyrone:** tamatoa

 **jaspussy:** Maui all the way

 **gar-NUT:** I really liked Moana herself

 **ametits:** gramma tala was cool

 **Pearl:** I still don't understand this whole Club Penguin fiasco...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Links to the videos with all the quotes:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmIxNUq4UJE  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHLXcJ-_IbM  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96x2kH1YrvM  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dT0XUO8leJ8  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3u7fE6XchA
> 
>  
> 
> I really recommend them, they made me laugh

**Author's Note:**

> Probably won't update it  
> I'm not even a writer, I did it because of a dare my friend gave me


End file.
